First of all, I never make New Year resolutions, this is not a resolution. Secondly, this blog is not going to turn into a record of weight loss successes and failures, and I am definitely not about to start listing every bite that I eat every day.
But I do want this blog to reflect my day to day life, and today that means the weight loss cycle has come around again. Yes, that’s right; again. I am ridiculously good at losing weight, only to pile it back on again. Even knowing the many benefits of staying slim aren’t enough to keep me away from the kitchen cupboards. As an emotional eater, food brings comfort in stressful times, and there has never been a year quite like the one I have just been through. However, that sounds a lot like making excuses, and it is. At times like this I need to get real and admit that I hide behind my weight to avoid facing up to painful things. The excuses have to go, and so does the weight.
The picture here was taken last year, when I was at my slimmest. I had just lost a whopping 5 stone (60 lb) and was feeling amazing. I do have a head, by the way, I’m just not ready to share that much of me yet!
Much as I would love to share a current photo, very few exist, as the more weight I gain, the fewer photographs I appear in. I have managed to regain most of the 60 lb that I lost, and am struggling to squeeze into my biggest jeans.
But, I have done it before and I can do it again. Here are the three things that I am sure helped me to lose the weight last time around;
- I kept a diary. I wrote down, not just my weight and the food I had eaten, but how I was feeling. I recorded every upset and every triumph, and reading back over it often gave me the strength to keep going. I guess that is why I am sharing this now, as an online diary entry that I can look back on in time and see how far I have come.
- I had a goal date in mind. There was a charity ball that my friends and I were all going to on the 1st December, and I used to visualise everything about that special night. I knew I wanted to be slimmer rather than heavy so that I could be comfortable and enjoy the night.
- Lastly; and this is a biggie; I made a dress for myself. Yup, the blue dress in the photo. I crocheted it to wear to the ball, and when I sat in the evenings working row after row in tiny thread, adding little glass beads, I knew I had to keep eating properly in order to be able to get into the dress. It worked, and I felt like a princess.
So here we are, starting again. I don’t have a charity ball coming up to plan for, but I am going to use crochet again to keep the weight loss on track. This time I am going to design and make myself a top, a gorgeous going-out top that I can slip on over jeans for a night on the town. I am already beginning to picture it in my mind, so there may be the occasional update on here to show my progress. As for a goal date, I would ideally like to have another slim summer, so I am going to say 1st July. Not necessarily to have all five stone off again, or to be at my goal weight, but to be looking and feeling more like my old self.
I am looking forward to being able to get into my clothes again, to being in photographs without having to worry about the number of chins that will be showing, to being able to run, walk and even sleep more easily. So many reasons to shift the extra weight, all I really needed to do was be ready to go, to get to this point in the cycle and get on with it. Wish me luck!