Sharing the crochet love. And some robots.

Posts tagged ‘inspiration’

Saying “Yes.”

No, I haven’t just accepted a marriage proposal, I’m not about to upload videos of candlelit beaches and writing in the sand – still happily single – but I have had some momentous and life-changing events happen of late. 

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A few weeks ago now, just after writing my last post, I attended the  very sad funeral of the brother of a friend, and was sitting mid-service when I felt myself filled with the deepest sense of shame I have ever experienced in my life. Let me explain…

The church was filled to capacity – I have honestly never seen it so full. People of all ages and from all faiths had traveled to be there for this mans send-off. People queued up for the chance to say a few words, offering up a prayer or a word of condolence, offering their shoulders to help bear the burden of loss that this family would be forced to carry. 

The priest, who shed his own tears too, spoke so eloquently about this man. About how he touched many lives with his energy and vibrant personality, about how he was loved by everyone because he smiled all the time, even when he was suffering towards the end of his life.

And – here comes the burning shame – how he never stayed still. He was always living his lifealways planning the next adventure and working towards making his dreams a reality. 

I know, it would be incredibly selfish to sit there at a funeral and feel sorry for myself; that wasn’t quite how I was feeling. I wasn’t jealous that this man had more friends than me, I didn’t feel self-pity because he had had more fun. 

I was ashamed. 

I have spent the last few years of my life building a little nest for myself, a little squirrel’s den to hide away in when the world gets too scary. 

And I have been hiding. During the daytime, I am hiding behind the World’s Best Mother badge, putting 100% of my time and energy into being a mum to my kids. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a job I cherish, and I know how blessed I am to hold this position; but I use it as an excuse to avoid putting any time and energy into me. 

It’s the same in the evenings; the kids go to bed and I curl up on the sofa and pretend that I couldn’t possibly get a babysitter if I wanted to go out – I could get a sitter in a matter of minutes, if I just picked up the phone. Why am I lying to myself? 

I made the decision, sitting at this man’s funeral, to start living my life properly again. I felt I owed him that much; if I want to be able to look him in the eye when we meet again and tell him that my extra years weren’t “wasted” on me, I need to get back out there and use up every bit of my time – the way he would have.

So; how do we start living again, after years of expertly dodging life? 

It really was very simple – I started saying “Yes.” 

You see, life throws opportunities at all of us, all the time. There is always someone who needs a hand with something, or who doesn’t want to go somewhere on their own, or who is facing something that you have been through and would appreciate your support. 

Quite often, when asked to do something, I would find an excuse, and say to myself “I’ll do that when I’m thin,” or “Someone else could do that much better than me.” 

In the past month, I have put my fingers in my ears and ignored those little inner-head voices. And life has come back to our house…

I have agreed to become a mentor at a parenting group.

I have been kayaking with my friend, who didn’t want to try it on her own. (I’m in that picture, above!) 

I have met up with friends for several nights out (some messier than others!)

I have agreed to help with a local fair, run by volunteers. 

 

If I was afraid before that my children would miss out because I was doing my own thing too, I was so wrong. My children are delighted to see me out and about, meeting friends and getting involved with various activities. They squealed with laughter when they saw me in a wetsuit, and they looked on with pride when I was thanked by their teachers for assisting with their show. I haven’t neglected them at all; I have shown them how adults are supposed to live, and they are loving it. 

 

Detoxing with crochet

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That’s it over for another year, and for us the most relaxed, fuss-free celebrations we have ever had. I hope that reflects the stage we are at in our lives, as it is so reassuring to think that we have come through the worst times and are free to enjoy the good times that are ahead. 

I put the yarn and hook away during the decorating of the house, and have just taken them back out again for a little “me” time. It is a relief to not be crocheting to a deadline anymore, as coming up to Christmas I had a list of projects that needed to be finished. There were four minion hats for children of relatives, varying in age from 4 months to 5 years. There were the two mini minions that I had decided to make for my own kids, (which were very well received!) There was a  package of tiny clothes for the neo natal unit. And there was the blocking, and re-blocking of my bruges lace piece, which became a last-minute addition to my gift to an aunt of mine. It’s been non-stop, but mostly small, varied projects, which helped prevent things from becoming a drag.

However, all of the gift-making left me feeling a little uninspired this evening, and I felt I was searching for a new project to begin. I hate that feeling, I would much rather have a list of ideas to choose from and be working on a dozen different projects than be sitting here not knowing what to start next. I couldn’t even remember what was on my ideas wish list, it had all gone a bit blank. 

When that happens, I think the most important thing is just to start something, anything, and then the ideas will come flooding back. So I decided to make some baby trainers, and sure enough, now my head is full of ideas and inspiration for the coming year. It does feel a little like a detox, cleansing all the stuff that doesn’t need to be in there, and making some room for me again. Having a hobby like crochet is so good for that; reminding us to take a little time every day to do something that we enjoy, just for the pleasure of creating something new, and then sharing it with the world. 

Could Crochet Improve My Attention Spa- oooh look!

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It amazes me how often I set out with one goal in mind and find myself a few hours later on a completely different path altogether. This evening I was going to attempt to work from a photograph, to see if I could follow some advice from Youngatfifty, a master in the art of photo-copying 🙂  so I was trawling the web to find something interesting (but not too challenging!) to recreate. I spent ages admiring beautiful motifs and appliques, and then somehow got sidetracked, and now I am doing Bruges Lace! How did that happen?!

Actually a project in Bruges lace has been on my wish list for some time now, and tonight I must have just happened upon the trigger for that particular project. I have only made a start on it so far, working from a chart in a “Duplet” magazine. It is worked in fine cotton, which you really have to be in the mood for as I find it can tangle easily if you get distracted. Tonight I am leaving my project as is for now, too many times I have crocheted into the wee hours only to come down in the morning and spot a glaring mistake that needs ripping out! 

 

Off to bed now with a song in my heart, maybe a new crochet challenge was just the distraction I needed for these long winter nights. Hooray! 🙂

Ideas Wish List

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Looking over my blog, it appears that I have been using a very limited range of colours lately – everything has been brown, black, white and grey. 

This is partly due to the projects that I have chosen; a robot or two, panda shoes, little grey bunnies. I don’t mind using these colours, but to brighten this grey day I am posting a snap of a stash-busting blanket that I was very happy with. Not only did it use up all the odds and ends of yarn that were tangling themselves up in my yarn cupboard, but it also had a really nice retro feel when it was done. I was retro before retro was cool – that makes me super-cool, although my teenage niece refuses to believe me on that one. 

 

I have just finished my daughters bunny slippers, and I cannot wait to see her face when she comes home from school and sees them sitting ready for her on the stairs. Isn’t that one of the pleasures of crafting that just can’t be measured? 

 

The plan for tomorrow is to write up the bunny pattern so that I can share it with you all – and it works up so quickly in chunky yarn that you could even whip up a few pairs as Christmas presents. (A lot of my own family members might be having their feet measured while they sleep over the next few days 🙂 ) 

 

Then it will be on to the next project. This is the part I find the most difficult. So many ideas. Does everyone have a wish list of ideas they wish they had the time to create? 

Image  I am toying with the idea of doing something in filet again. This is a Celtic Knot Christening shawl that I made as a present for a friend…I promise you, it is a knot, not a swastika as the computer is trying to make it appear. That would be a dreadful Christening shawl! 

I love birds, so possibly a filet bird pattern. Then again, by tomorrow I might have moved on to something completely different! 

Hope everyone is having a great day 🙂

 

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